Cinderella's Curse (2024)

I thought that this film was a production from the TCU (Twisted Childhood Universe), like the whole Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, Bambi: The Reckoning and so on, but turns out that someone else has got in on this low-budget bonkers filmmaking as well! In this case, ChampDog Films who similarly seem to be creating gory versions of children's fairy tales! So here it is, then a kind of 'remake' of the Cinderella thing with some twists.

Directed by Louisa Warren, as per Sleeping Beauty's Massacre and Mary Had a Little Lamb, this involves the traditionally abused Cinders getting hold of a 'cursed' book in order to wreak revenge on, well, pretty much everyone around her - including nasty stepmother, wicked stepsisters and the usually nice-guy prince!

She is told her father is away on business, but she is effectively their prisoner and we find out later that actually wicked stepmother has bumped him off! She does have one friend who is maid in the house, which looks very much like a small castle on the side of a Scottish Loch, called Anja. But she has an accident so doesn't last long into the tale! Cinders tries to steal some pain killers from the nasty trio, but they all get caught and we have our first taste of what they are capable of as they tie Anja to a table and give her what-for!

While burying Anja's body in the woods, Cinders discovers an ancient, flesh-bound book which summons a fairy godmother when opened. Not a magical being with a wand though, rather a skinless, demonic creature in a dress, accompanied by some other creatures who seem to like to feast on the flesh of the recently-deceased. Anyway, for her trouble, Cinders is offered 3 wishes, the first of which she uses to get to dance with the prince, who had recently visited the house and bumped into her below stairs. The catch with the wishes though is that if she takes all 3 instead of stopping with just 2, she's going to end up like the grizzled 'fairy godmother' in her hellish world.

Turns out that the prince is a bit of a cad too, so yes, joins Cinders' list of people on whom revenge will be due. At the dance, Cinders gets tricked and ends up being abused by everyone there and naked on the floor as they all mock and laugh at her plight. Cinderella, now empowered with supernatural strength and wielding her glass slipper as a dagger, systematically slaughters the guests and her family in various interesting and gory ways! You can imagine what happens about the third wish and where she ends up, covered in blood, wielding her glass slipper!

It's more maniacal nonsense of course but it feels a bit like there's been a bit more money thrown at this one than some of the others and the acting, though not Oscar-winning calibre, is kind of alright - and some of the special effects and gore have actually been done quite well and thoughtfully. I didn't know any of the cast, but I guess I might get to do so the more I delve further into this ChampDog thing. Up next seems to be one of the ones I mentioned above - and not, as we might expect, Cinderella's Revenge which confusingly seems to have roots in yet another film production outfit. I'm lost already! It's on Amazon Prime Video if you fancy - though I do get the feeling that I'm probably talking to myself with this stuff!