Tuesday, 4 August 2026

Calvaire (2004)

Directed by Belgian filmmaker Fabrice Du Welz, this film is completely bonkers - just as we have come to expect, at least occasionally, from content on the Shudder channel. In a good way! It's clearly a horror of sorts, centred around a French travelling entertainer who breaks down one rainy night. Unluckily for him, it is in the middle of a rural community of complete fruit-loops who inflict a nightmare experience upon him!

We join the film during a relatively sane event staged by Marc Stevens, a decidedly mediocre performer played by Laurent Lucas, as he entertains a grateful crowd at a local nursing home. As the show winds down and he is back in his dressing room, eager elderly fans throw themselves at him, hoping for a bit more than what he delivered on stage! He quickly jumps into his van and heads off towards his next gig down south.

Driving through the heavily forested Ardennes region in torrential rain, Marc's van breaks down. He encounters Boris (Jean-Luc Couchard), a mentally unstable man wandering the woods looking for his lost dog, Bella. Boris leads Marc to an isolated, dilapidated inn owned by Paul Bartel (Jackie Berroyer). Bartel seems welcoming and reveals that he is a former stage comedian whose wife, Gloria, abandoned him years ago, causing him to retire into obscurity.

Bartel promises to fix Marc’s van, but secretly sabotages it, steals Marc's belongings and slashes his tyres! Bit by bit, we witness Bartel sinking further into insanity as he purposely blocks any attempts Marc makes to leave - masking it all with kindness, meals and home comforts while Marc awaits his repaired van. However, Bartel comes to believe that Marc is actually his missing wife, Gloria, and uses social pressure to get him to sing for him. During the daytime, Marc goes off for a walk at one point and stumbles across a bunch of locals doing unspeakable things to various animals!

This is the point at which things go properly pear-shaped for Marc. Boris becomes even more bizarre in his behaviour and Bartel effectively captures and detains Marc - eventually moving from persuasion to force and abuse. Marc attempts to escape into the surrounding countryside, only to realise the entire local male population is just as deeply unhinged as Bartel. In the village bar, a local (Stan le Pianiste) plays a discordant, frantic tune while all the men in town break into a hypnotic, aggressive, trance-like dance - which is actually comic, bizarre and hilarious - the highlight of the film for me!

Lots of gore follows at this point, with the local butcher in the mix. They are all enraged by Bartel and Boris, sexually frustrated and convinced that Gloria has returned and there is a woman in their midst. They fail to realise that it is actually poor Marc - by this stage dressed up in Gloria's clothes and completely unrecognisable! The finale plays out in the mist of the local marsh, where the ground is soft and treacherous, leading us towards the resolution, a few more reveals, and even more loopy goings-on!

What's interesting is that, apart from that opening scene in the nursing home, there are no women in the film - just the three lead men and the broader pack of males in the village. It's strongly implied that Gloria was the last one to have fled (or died) and that this bunch of crackpots has driven all females away, causing any chance of normal relationships, intimacy, and social structure to dissolve. The men seem to project their suppressed desire, loneliness, and basic instincts onto whatever is available - animal, vegetable or mineral!

This was Fabrice Du Welz's first film and forms the first entry in his unofficial "Ardennes Trilogy" (followed years later by Alleluia in 2014 and Adoration in 2019), all exploring obsessive, destructive love - set around the same dark forests. The cinematography is great, the visuals are striking and it was all shot on Super 16mm film apparently for a raw, grainy, sickly texture filled with dreary winter light and oppressive muddy tones! The sound design is interesting too - often simply the eerie wind rushing through the marsh and in and around the buildings. It's certainly worth seeing the film, if for no other reason than that wacky dance scene in the bar representing the collective madness of the locals! Great fun and, yes, one more time - bonkers!

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Calvaire (2004)

Directed by Belgian filmmaker Fabrice Du Welz, this film is completely bonkers - just as we have come to expect, at least occasionally, from...